Idiot of the Day

So Saturday has finally come round again and the bold lads of the Narrabeen Life Saving Club have set up the safety flags at the middle beach location, just about one hundred yards from my apartment. What a convenience! After taking another long bike ride this morning and working up a pretty good sweat, I donned swim trunks and towel for my first true dip in the Pacific. The sand was really hot on my feet as I got to the safety area between the flags on the beach, so I quickly threw down my towel and hat in order to charge into the surf. It felt glorious, with big breaking waves knocking me around as I worked my way out about thirty yards where others were bobbing about in the water. What a refreshing feeling! What a beautiful sunny day! What total horror when I realized that my apartment keys were no longer in my pocket.

Having sacrificed my only apartment access to King Neptune, there was nothing I could do other than trudge warily back to the apartment building and survey my options. I had no cell phone, no wallet, no way to call the landlord and I knew I had to rely on my own cunning to get back in. Although my porch is on the third floor, it is separated from the apartment next door by a wall that does not extend very far past the balustrade. I went upstairs, knocked on my neighbors door, and sheepishly explained to the fellow I had obviously just disturbed from a deep sleep that I needed to perform a dangerous stunt from his porch. The guy was game if I was, and I stepped out to his porch to execute the ticklish maneuver. I tried not to look down as I stepped gingerly over the railing, passed beyond the separating wall, and vaulted over the railing of my own porch. Luckily I had not locked the porch door and I was safely inside in less time that it takes to type this line.

I had to call my long suffering landlord to get replacement keys and he graciously performed the task within the hour. Now I sit here shaking my head and thinking how ironic my fears are. Always a bit squeamish about getting in the ocean, my biggest danger of the morning was actually a peril on dry land, three stories above a soft lawn of Bermuda grass!